Ever felt invisible in the midst of people? Me too…

Ever sat, surrounded by people and the busyness of life, and felt utterly alone? Conversations are happening around you, maybe people think you’re part of them, but you feel distant. Separated. Invisible. Do they see your struggles? Are they oblivious to your pain? Does anyone even notice you are not the person you once were? And if they’re aware, do they wonder why? Do they even care?

What seems is often not what is

Desperate screams for help, silent cries of the soul, that never surface. Trapped in your mind, bouncing around, looking for a pathway for expression, but finding none. Behind the smiling face and “I’m fine and you?” responses, there’s so much more going on.

In my life and, likely, yours.

Blessings don’t mean the absence of struggles

In so many ways, I have a very blessed life. I can’t even begin to adequately express how thankful I am for my two kids. Being a mom isn’t easy. Anything important seldom is. There are sacrifices, challenges, disappointments and failures. But the joys, delights, celebrations and the journey is beyond anything else I’ve experienced. When I look at my kids, I truly see them as my most precious treasures, gifted to me by God.

I was blessed to have been raised knowing unconditional love. This came especially from my Mom and Gram who modeled selflessly serving their family, living lives of fortitude and quiet strength. My dad was largely absent but I never doubted that he loved us too, in his own way. We lived a modest life and I sometimes wished for things we didn’t have. But, as I’ve grown older, I’ve realized that what I had was so much more precious. The gift of unconditional love was far more valuable than any wordly abundance.

Life has taken me from my “rough and tough and from The Bluff” childhood in Durban, South Africa, to many places across the globe. I’ve been fortunate enough to have traveled far and wide, hiking and climbing in some of the most beautiful places in the world. Apart from South Africa, I’ve had the opportunity to live in London (UK), Vancouver (Canada) and now Seattle (US).

Career wise I’ve been fortunate and, with hard work, I’ve always done well. I work for a company who makes the world a better, healthier place. I get to work with many people who enrich my life, personally and professionally, and although we work hard, we are invested in each other and what we do. I am blessed.

Why do I share this? To revel in all the good things that God has given me? To make others less fortunate feel less than? No, quite the contrary.

I share this to explain all the reasons why I should feel happy, connected, fulfilled. Why it may seem like I should be the last one to feel alone, invisible and questioning my value.

And yet I sometimes do.

We are more similar than we may appear to be

I think there are so many of us wandering around feeling this way. The loud, outspoken, seemingly arrogant, executive. The diligent, focused worker bee. The mom at the playground who always has the perfect snacks and perfect children. The quiet introvert, passing by, hoping to remain unnoticed. The teen trying desperately to fit in, a square peg in a round hole.

In every shape, every form, every circumstance, there are lonely people wondering, “who sees the real me?” “Who cares?” “Who will notice?” “Who will reach out?”

I try to notice. I try to care. And, when I can, I try to reach out. But, sometimes I miss things. I might miss your cues and if I do, I’m so very sorry. Please know it’s not because I don’t care. It’s not because you’re not important. It’s not because you’re invisible. It’s most likely because I’m the midst of my own struggle. When I’m in this place, I hope someone else will see you and be the warm hug, the kind smile or the encouraging word that you need.

And if not, please be courageous. Be bold. Extend your hand, dial the number, reach out however you can. To me or to anyone.

Because there’s always someone who cares.

Let’s remember that things are seldom what they seem. People are always dealing with more than they share. Life is never perfect, no matter how it seems.

What should we do with this? Extend grace, even when people don’t seem to deserve it. Practice kindness, in little and big ways, as often as possible. Reach out, be it with a text, call or hug.

And, very importantly, remember to not only do this for others but to do it also for yourself. It could make all the difference in your life or theirs.