Forever 21 He Will Be…

Today is my older brother, Luke’s, 54th birthday. Or it would have been if he was still with us. Through an unimaginable tragedy, he was taken from us at 21 and, in our minds, forever 21 he will be.

Luke was everything that you would want in an older brother. He was four years older than me and, through my eyes, he was exceeding cool and talented and wonderful. We grew up in Durban, South Africa on a suburb called The Bluff. As the saying went… rough and tough and from The Bluff! It might not have been the “larney” area of Durban but we had something that others didn’t. Amazing beaches and the pretty famous surf break of Cave Rock. Most of the guys on The Bluff surfed, and surfed well. Luke was no exception. He was a great surfer and hung out with all the cool people at Anstey’s Beach during his teenage years. I hung out at Anstey’s Beach too but generally not in the cool part except occasionally when Luke was there. When I did, I felt pretty special and very cool.

Just another day at Anstey’s Beach for Luke. A life too short and too many waves left unsurfed.

Luke was also very smart and seemed to excel at pretty much anything that he did. On top of that, with his lean surfer’s build and bright open face, he stood out in a crowd. There was something special about him and as we grew older I enjoyed the times when we were able to engage more as friends than big brother/little sister. After he finished high school, he went off to do his two years of compulsory military service during a time of much change and strife in South Africa. He never really shared his experiences but from his silence, we knew that they were tough times. It was so wonderful when the two years were up and he returned home. His life could really begin. His plans to become an architect about to unfold. But sadly, within a matter of months, he was no longer with us.

It is impossible to make sense of why we lose some so young. Why when there are so many evil people do good young people get taken? The why questions will do you in and they did me in for a very long time. I was so angry at God, the world, the unfairness and although I functioned so most wouldn’t have known this, below the surface, I was a seething mess. For many, many years.

I don’t know why this and other tragedies happen and, this side of Heaven, I will never know. That hasn’t changed but what has changed is that I don’t demand to know all the answers any more. I rest in the knowledge that I know God is good. Regardless of what unimaginable things happen, God’s character never changes. I trust in Him and His goodness when things don’t make sense. For me to get to this point of peace about it is truly only a miracle that God could have performed in my heart and for that, I’m grateful.

Even now after 33 years, my eyes still tear up when a song reminds me of Luke or when a birthday comes around or the anniversary of the date we last saw him. There’s a wound forever on my heart but my tears are also a reminder of the love and the memories that I treasure and the thankfulness that I got to share 17 years of my life with my brother Luke. You are forever loved and in our thoughts my brother xxxxx